Sunday, March 19, 2006

I'm loosing it....

I'm officially loosing my hair. 19 days after my first chemo cycle... I thought I'd have to wait a little longer. So, last Wed, I had my hair trimmed (I'm sporting a bob cut to the ears) thinking I'd have more time with my thick locks.

I noticed yesterday as I was brushing my hair before taking a bath (my ritual since I don't want to clog my drain), the hair would just keep coming. Not in huge clumps so it's not traumatic. Just everytime I run even just my fingers through my hair, I'd get a few strands. Then, during the day, anyone who would talk to me would just reach out an take some hair off my shirt. (They were all family.) Then when I woke up this morning, I had the most hair in the bed.

Since I was expecting this alopecia (medical term for hair loss), I'm not in the least traumatized or depressed about it. I don't feel bad about it in any way. It's a bit of a hassle coz of the mess. Wearing a hat seems to keep the mess at bay.

I'm trying to imagine myself with no hair to mentally prepare myself. It seems weird when I'm thinking about it but that's actually the point. Hopefully, if I think about it enough, it won't be so weird when I actually see it.

So, I'm planning to cut my hair in the near future. My options are a boy-cut that I'm dreadding since it just will not flatter my round face in any way. So, I'm also considering just taking my hubby's clippers and just buzz it all off (a-la Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta). That's the most economical alternative. I've got hats that will cover that up. Then there's the wig alternative. That's the most expensive route. Although, if my doctor prescribes me a cranial prosthesis, my insurance might pay for part of it.

I'm still taking my time with my options. If the hair loss stays this gradual, I'll just keep my hair.

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